Why? Because my anonymity, clearly, is not preservable on this site. When I started writing, the only people who read this noise were friends of mine, and there was no need to adopt a pseudonym or anything like that. Gradually, that changed. I have kind of a lot of readers now; at least, more than I was ever expecting when I started out here. Many of them don't know me personally, and as this gets bigger (or even if it just stays at this smallish size), I don't think I want them to.
At the new URL, you people aren't allowed to use my real name. I'm serious about this. Even though I am, and for the foreseeable future remain, an unapologetic fuck-up, I think I'd like to someday be employed in a manner other than "lovable boxcar hobo" or "prostitute with a heart of lead." Keep my real name out of the comments section. Yall have been bad about this lately, particularly that one annoying Johnnie anon (Johnnonymous) who's got the jitters at the notion of people seeing my twat. I'm not famous or anything, and I'll probably never be, but I'd also like to never be totally unemployable. I mean, hell, I'm already going to St. John's College and covered in tattoos; the odds are stacked against me as it is. Let's not add "kinky sex blog" to my list of detriments.
The logo with my face on it will be gone, even though it's killing me to get rid of my friend Lakevia's super bangin design, replaced by what I'd consider to be a most erotic logo of me snarling and flipping you off. Adulthood: where you can pull juvenile shit like that and still buy cigarettes and porn legally because you've been deemed able.
The vlogs, to absolutely nobody's dismay, will be gone. They'll still be on YouTube probably, or maybe not, I don't know, I'm tired right now and not in the mood to fool with the damn thing anymore, but my point is that everything with my face on it will be gone from the kinky sex blog.
Sadly, my conversation with Catfish about the unsuitable Rooster that we "dated" will have to be gone, since it inexplicably contains links to both of our Facebook profiles and I can't figure out how to make those links go away. I tried for a good thirty minutes and eventually just punched the first neighbor I saw in the face in frustration. (Part of that sentence is not true. Go ahead and guess which part, if you like.)
Finally, this website, soon enough, will be gone. I figure I'll leave it up for another week or two so that all of you guys get the message and can start reading me at the new URL if you like. (Maybe you don't wanna. Go fuck yourself. I hate you. God, I'm tired.) I will not be posting the new URL here, because then there goes my anonymity again and I'm actually attempting to preserve it and turn it into real anonymity this time. It'll be all over my Facebook, so that those of you who know me personally can continue to be ashamed of my twat-heavy existence. I will also create a Facebook page for the new site and maybe actually update this one on what you earthlings call "a regular basis."
If you don't know me personally, and are a devoted reader, never fear! I'm talking to both of you strangers who read me, here. The e-mail address will remain functional. Just shoot me an e-mail at milkshakeandhoney@yahoo.com and I'll reply with the new address. If these precautions strike you as paranoid, don't worry, it's only because I'm being pretty paranoid.
See you guys on the flip side. Mama still loves you.
EDIT: I just realized that if you send me an e-mail anonymously through send-email, I won't be able to reply. Fucking derp. Sorry guys, you'll have to cough up the real e-mails and I'll just go ahead and make the token promise that I won't share your address with anyone for any reason.
